Rantrantrant

He’s amazing no doubt. Either the problem lies in me, or him. Why? Am i expecting too much or is he giving too little? Am i putting such high standards and expectations or am i just expecting a little more? Do i think i mean something to him? Most probably not. Do i feel like i’m the only one who has got he’s attention? I don’t quite think so as well.

So what am i supposed to think.
Defenses are up, because i hate to lose, if he’s playing a game i’d rather win. I always win. Does he find me lovely or am i just a reflection of himself. Am i everything he is that’s why were here up till now? Do i make him think about me and us does he have butterflies like i do do you think he’s just tired of me?

Well maybe he is.

It isn’t my fault that i got angry for a whole day. It shouldn’t be my fault. Why do i please people when they don’t think about me. Maybe i’m overreacting but maybe i’m just protecting myself. From what? From hurt definitely. From infinite bitterness. 

I’m upset and angry with the whole situation as it is. Its unbearable this frustration.
I have no fucking idea why the fuck it’s like it is. I think i’m being patient enough but waiting is not my forte. 

I need a fucking sack of faith. I need someone to get rid of this feeling in me. But im afraid that someone is as ignorant as fuck. Probably it’s because he’s tired.
Yup probably he is. 

I can’t do nothing about it if he’s not even finding time, for us. 
I can’t do nothing if he places priority in his friends.
Because what am i again?

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